Then came "aha" moment, or, to be perfectly honest, my "oh c**p" moment, when I realized that David's getting a job meant I had to become DOMESTICATED. Again, the caps is symbolic my feeling of overwhelmingness. (yes, I know that isn't a word, but it sums everything up so nicely) I don't cook, cleaning bathrooms makes me gag and when Josh won't stop crying, I wish I were at work.
Yet despite my fears of being a total failure as a wife and mother, I truly find myself enjoying my new role. A big part of it stems from finally having a dishwasher and washer/dryer (I refuse now to ever live without these again, and if David knows whats good for him, he will never deprive me of my favorite appliances) because cleaning seems so much easier now. I've also gotten all the cookbooks out and started gathering ideas for meals. For someone who never cooked, I sure had a ton of cookbooks. Go figure. This week I cooked pork chops for the first time, overcoming my strong distaste of touching raw meat. I also made lemon bars. From scratch! For some absurd reason, I was ridiculously proud of myself after making them. So much so that I even documented the event with pictures, as follows.
It got the thumbs up approval from both David and Josh.
I got a little heavy-handed with the powdered sugar, and it stuck (un-greased pan my eye, stupid recipe) terribly, but it tasted wonderful. I know that lemon bars have to be one of the easiest recipes on earth and a 5 year-old could probably make them, but for me, this provided a major feeling of accomplishment. Maybe I have what it takes to survive being a SAHM.
5 comments:
Good for you, Lauren. It IS a big deal making the switch over. I worked the first year of Caleb's life (still teaching) in order to pay the bills and have insurance, too. Then it was a big switch. But you can do it. You are very smart and talented. Just take a lot of deep breathes when you get frustrated (if necessary give YOURSELF a time out) and just take it one day at a time. :)
I second Stephanie, taking a moment to yourself will help a lot. You can do it! And you will find in no time that your screaming child wont even phase you (I've gotten good at ignoring it if I can't do anything about it). I just wish I could say the same about bathroom cleaning--yuck.
I know you will do great, just take it one day at a time. Something that helped me (I had read in the Ensign) was that you should think of house work as Serving your family--which is truely what it is. It really made me come to appreciate all the small things I could do to help, when it meant that my family was benefitting from my service--it even made me want to go above and beyond what was needed.
Tax season is the worst. It makes every other time of the year seem a lot better. And bravo on the pork chops. I managed to cook some ground beef for the first time in probably ten years last week (I gag and gag at the sight of the oozy blood) so I too feel victorious. Otherwise we eat chicken for every meal, because it looks less meaty.
I couldn't believe that post you did on never being alone with Josh for longer than a few hours. I've worked before and since claire was born but I'm still the SAHM. I wonder how that would feel to have a role reversal...hmmm. Good attitude, momma. it really is hard to give it all up.
first, wow, you have been spoiled:) and second, it gets easier. much easier. i buy disposable first aid gloves for cooking meat:) i dont like touching raw meat either. babies are overwhelming, but luckily they are easy to please usually. great job for supporting your family for so long, and now you get to the fun part!
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