Why yes, you can buy self-esteem.

I've been in a frump slump lately.  I'm way overdue for a haircut and highlights.  The only time I dress up is for church and since I can only go every other week, that means I dress nicely twice, maybe three times a month.  Summer was a long time coming here in Western Oregon so the rainy weather, combined with yucky roots and fussing kids made me start to feel a bit blue.

That's when these little numbers came my way:

My mother, bless her heart, bought me my very first pair of stiletto heels.  In pink.  Very pink.  With peep toes.

I wasn't even looking for heels.  I was searching for a pair of comfy brown leather sandals and just for kicks, tried these on.  It was like love at first sight.  Even more than love at first sight because it took me about three months to be certain I was in love with my honey and it took me about three seconds to be certain I was in love with these shoes.

It was like a new woman came out when I put on those heels.  The only reason to wear shoes like that is to feel sexy.  How can you not feel like a million bucks when you can glide down the halls at church wearing a pre-baby pencil skirt and pink stilettos?  I confess though that I had to practice walking in them at home before leaving.  The whole sexy confidence thing would have been totally thrown off whack had I pitched myself headfirst onto the floor and flashed the congregation.  Then I had to practice walking in them while hoisting a heavy baby, a diaper bag and holding the hand of a two year-old.  Oh yeah, I rocked the hot momma look.  Ben even refrained from spitting up on me while we were at church.  The eyebrow arch when he started to make threatening noises must have worked.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't do this to be attractive to other people.  Honestly I'm so busy keeping my kiddos in line that I hardly notice anyone else's clothing so I have doubts anyone else notices my outfits.  I'm definitely not fishing for male attention.  I practiced the walk so that I might not inflict bodily harm upon myself, not to sashay my way around the chapel.  I'm not one of those women who has a built in strut.  You know the walk I'm taking about.  One of my co-workers has it and I once watched a bicyclist almost flip himself over his handle bars watching her walk down the sidewalk.  I'm happy enough not to break an ankle going down our cement stairs.

I put on those pink heels and gussy myself up because it feels good for me.  David enjoys it too when I feel confident and beautiful.  When we bought the shoes my mom was wondering what David's reaction would be.  I told her it would be one or two raised eyebrows.  One eyebrow would be speculative with the golden response of "whatever makes you happy, honey."  Two eyebrows would be the response of... well... you can guess.  After I showed David the shoes, I quickly called my mom and told her "It was two eyebrows!" and hung up.

I'm grateful for the wisdom and generosity of a mother who will buy her daughter totally frivolous footwear.  Even on days when I don't dress up, I see those shoes waiting for me in the closet and they bring a secret smile to my face.