November 15, 2008
Tell me it gets better...
Today has been very frustrating. Josh won't sleep or stop crying. He wants to eat every hour. He eats for half an hour from me, but it doesn't seem to last. He's only slept for about 5 hours total today since 8am. It is now 9:30pm. I fed him an hour ago, changed him, he screams, I feed him a bottle and he is still screaming unless I hold him, and sometimes not even then. We put a binky in his mouth and he sucks on it for a minute, then spits it out and cries some more. I can't just let him cry for more than 10 minutes because I'm afraid our neighbors will complain. The walls in our old apartment are very thin and we have people living on all sides of us. I know he's not sick. Last night (or rather, today) he was up with David until 3:30am. He has developed the bad habit of not wanting to sleep at night without us holding him. I don't know how it happened because he used to be fine. I've tried reading books to get some ideas, but they don't seem to help and everything says "for healthy full-term babies." I can't find any good info for preemies, even online. Josh isn't even supposed to be born until tomorrow. I just don't know what to do right now and needed to vent. Thanks for listening/reading.
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Lauren
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7 comments:
Lauren, I have no advice and/or experience in this area, but I will pray that you can find the resources that you need to help your lives become a little more scheduled with Josh. I wish you well!
Hello Lauren & David,
Stacy gave me your blog. I have been following it for a couple of weeks. Nice job. Sorry to hear about Josh and his fussiness. I know at times it seems to never end. Things that we would do with our boys was to take them for a drive, something about: being taken through cold air, being bundled tight, the warm air form the car heater and motion from my crazy driving (curb check).
We would also say many silent prayers.
When asked by your friend / RS president what they can do to help, (if you feel Josh is ready for outsiders) ask them to come over and spend time holding Josh so you can get some sleep, you need your sleep and PP will only get worse if you don't get any sleep.
Also ask them to bring a plate of goodies. Take the plates of goodies to your neighbors as a goodwill gesture and explain the you have a fussy baby and you understand that it may be an inconvenience to them and please take this plate of treats as an apology and thank them for their understanding. This is where someone can really help you and it is no loss to you. In fact when can Jen and I bring you a plate of cookies. I understand if you want to keep Josh away of outsiders and we have even had some runny nose in our house so I would just want to drop off a couple of plates of treats.
I want you to know how highly I think of you and your family.
Reynold
Ok, Lillian wasn't a preemie, but she sure didn't want to sleep sometimes at night?! I totally understand about the whole neighbor's thing, because we were living in the hales (Hawaiian married apartments)--talk about hearing through walls there were no windows, just louves (sp?).
I agree with the taking Josh for a ride, walk in the stroller (He might still be too young for that.), and many many prayers. Time does pass and if you are able to get some sleep it really does help on the situation. Still, I will keep you in my prayers.
The baby whisperer: ISBN 9780345479099
The best things I've read about NICU babies are in this book...Mine wasn't a preemie, but spent her fair share of time in the NICU...There was still a whole chapter dedicated to the care of premies...Basically it told me that because that you shouldn't treat your baby like a normal baby until after his due date...Feed him as much as possible and let him sleep as much as possible and don't stimulate him at all because his brain isn't finished developing...that's a brief synopsis...
I have no idea if I agree with these things, but I remember the first two months of Claire was pretty tortuous and I was always looking for new ideas and what to do...IT GETS BETTER! It really does...When I was struggling, I took a trip to my brother and sister...They spent a week trying to help me out...
Hormones stink and you are probably still full of them...Every day gets better with Claire...I still have bad days, but seeing her smile makes all the difference in the world...
Good luck! You can come stay with me if it will help! I don't know everything, but I'm sure there as an extra hand, when needed, and a few more hours of sleep a night would probably make all the difference in the world for you...
Lauren,
It does get better. You both just have to get used to each other. You need to stay relaxed, they feel when you are tense. Don't be afraid to give him to David and go have a bath or warm shower before you nurse him. Also if he is acting like he has bubbles or is gassy, use gas drops. They help so the bubbles are released more easily. I hope all is going well. He is beautiful and the fun times are only going to get better.
Jenn
He made need to have some medicine for gas. His dad did. And they learn real fast that they like being held and sleeping on you. It will just take time to get things worked out between you and Josh but hang in there. It will pass. Notice if he draws up his knees when he crys. If he does gently rub his tummy to help get the gas to move. We will keep you in our prayers. It is hard being a first time parent, you are just not sure what to do, and you want to just sit down and cry and think that you are a failure. Your not it is all normal. Hang in there.
Love, mom
i have been reading the baby whisperer, have you looked at that book? Basically it says to put your baby down drowsy but awake. Then when he fusses, you pick him up and comfort him, but put him down in his own bed again, drowsy but awake. The lady says it literally can take over a hundred times the first night(what!) but that by day 3, he will be sleeping fine. I don't know if that will work for you, but I have been trying that, and it has improved Taye's sleep a lot.
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