For the last two weeks, Josh has come home from nursery (a place in our church where parents can leave their 18 month to 3 year-old to be watched while they fully participate in church) with food stains all over his shirt. Last week it was chocolate, this week it was some sort of bright pink sticky stuff. Now, I have no problem with someone giving my kid candy, since the last two weeks Josh has been content for the first time in nursery and we haven't had to go in and sit with him. If it took candy to convince him that he can survive for two hours without Mum or Dad, then fine. My issue concerns his clothes. Little white dress shirts for boys are pretty expensive and while I've been able to get all of the stains out thus far, I'm not sure I really want to spend time after church each week scrubbing out and hand washing his one and only dress shirt. I am getting tempted to send him to church in normal clothes and ditch the white for now.
Here is where I need some opinions. We're trying to be frugal with our money right now, so I don't have a budget to go out and buy him things like colored polo shirts. He has one lime green polo that I can send him in, but I can't get away with that every week. That color really doesn't help with the stains either. Will I look like a heathen mother for sending my kid to church in a t-shirt? All his t-shirts have graphics on them too and liberal as I am, even I think sending Josh to church in a pirate t-shirt is probably crossing the line. So do I just suck it up and continue scrubbing the shirt every week? Look for some cheap plain t-shirts on sale?
I recognize and agree with the fact that we go to church to worship God and dressing in Sunday clothes helps to maintain an attitude of reverence. But Josh is too little to understand a concept like that right now. I guess I'm most concerned, and yes I'll admit it, that other women will judge me if I send Josh to church in a t-shirt. I'm only there every other week as it is due to work, so I already feel like an inferior mother on the spiritual front. (It doesn't help that when I do show up, some probably well-meaning lady will say something along the lines of "oh, you're actually here this week!")
So leave a comment and tell me what you honestly think. I look forward to some other opinions!
10 comments:
What matters is that he is there! Don't worry about what other mom's think, if they are there judging you, than they are needing to open their ears to the lessons.
I look around and see little ones in very dress-down clothes all the time--shorts and t-shirts(not pirates however). When you think about it, they are there to play, have a snack, and have a 1 minute lesson.
You could either find a thrift store where there are 50 cent polos, or...
If you are willing to come up to Portland, or meet along the way, I have a good deal of polo shirts and dress shirts that I could loan you, so you could at least have a few shirts to go through. Just need to know what size Josh is so I could go rummaging through Van's old clothes.
Or give me your address and I can mail some down your way.
Hope this will help.
Will Josh wear a bib? I know he's kinda big for that, but I've seen parents have those rubber bibs on older kids.(just a thought)
I absolutely think more casual clothes are OK for nursury aged children. I've noticed in the ward here that kids are more casually dressed sometimes. They look nice -- matching clothes -- but we're not talking a tiny tie here. They wear matching rompers and shirt or something. Yes, it is important to teach your children how to dress, but you can make the collared shirt a rite of passage into primary, or when they turn 8 or something. Who cares what the catty ladies say. They should work on not gossiping about something so trivial and understandable. I vote find a solid colored shirt of some kind and work from there.
My rule of thumb was that church shirts couldn't say something, like a corporate logo or an ad or souvenir or a cartoon character. That's it. Definitely not a white dress shirt. I saved that for when my son turned 12, likewise no ties for little children. Get some shirts at a thrift store and call it good.
Josh's willing participation in nursery is far more important than looking like an adult man.
I wear clothes from thrift stores all the time, why shouldn't a little child?
Wow, my solution would be to send him in his church clothes with the biggest bib you have, taped to his chest if necessary. Then, if he came back with stains, I would pin a note to it next time that said: 'help me stay clean!" or something else. I totally hear you on the not wanting to be judged and trying not to care that I am, but I am still in the 'don't judge who you don't know' approved mind frame, but I still cater to being judged. I think it's your call and no one can make it for you. Good luck. I'll look forward to the white dress shirts in the very near future. ;)
Have you ever tried a Carter's outlet store? They have some pretty good deals in their clearence section., I found some the other day for newborns, but saw plenty of older boys polos as well. Hope you find something!
We used the POLO method. I would also make use of baby wipes to clean up the stains before they set. The wipes allowed us to help preserve their clothes until Monday. Polo's work. You will have years and years of white shirts. What does your nursery give for snacks? Ours does pretzels, goldfish, graham crackers, animal crackers. These can all still leave a mark, but not as bad as chocolate or pink gooey. We did polos and sweaters over top in the winter. As for the ones who might judge...well let them at least you are getting your child to church and you are getting there when you can. You are doing what you have to do right now for your family. Don't beat yourself up about being a working mom. Read the book, I Am A Mother by Jane Clayson Johnson. If you want to borrow it let me know. It really helped me to deal with the emotions that I was feeling being a working mom.
I don't think t shirts are appropriate personally, but I don't know how I would feel if my kids came home stained every week. I would talk to the nursery leaders and ask them not to give him candy when you are not present. I'm REALLY surprised they do! So many parents dont let their kids have candy, and so many kids have allergies! Ours just do Graham crackers and pretzels and water. Ps I'm not judging anyone, I don't care what other kids wear, I just want mine to look like they are at church, not the park.
Or take smarties for him:) and tell the leaders to o ly give him those. They won't stain:)
Do you know the nursery teachers at all? I might mention (making it sound more like it's about Josh than them ;) ) he is having a hard time staying clean at church and maybe give them a little bag just for him with a bib or some baby wipes or something for them to use on him during snacktime. See if making them aware will help them help you keep him clean.
I'm so late on posting a comment. I have heard some people's rule of thumb is that their boy wear a collared shirt of some kind on Sundays. I vote for polos, myself. I have occasionally found polo shirts on sale at The Children's Place or Target.
I also second bex's opinion about the Smarties. Take a little bag of them, hand them to the nursery leaders, and ask them to use the Smarties over other candy they offer. Of course, you may have to provide Smarties for the entire nursery if you decide to go that route, but it may be worth it to preserve his clothing.
You can also provide the leaders with a small bag of baby wipes and ask them to wipe Josh up after eating candy. That seems to be something they would do intrinsically, but since they aren't, you may want to bring it up. No one wants their children coming home from church with candy and food stains all over their good church clothing. I'm sure that if Josh were a girl wearing a beautiful little dress, the leaders would be much more careful about food stains.
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