Three months already?

The fastest way for a quarter of a year to go by is to be on maternity leave.  My little baby is three months old today.  I go back to work next Wednesday.  I can't say I'm as ready to go back as I was with Josh.  Probably because the logistics of childcare for a toddler and a baby are a bit more challenging (have I mentioned that I have a saint for a mother?  No, really.)  If it was just about money I wouldn't be going back, but we have to have insurance.  It's possible to get it through David's work, but it is ridiculously expensive and doesn't really cover much.  Figuring that Ben's already had to have ultrasounds and x-rays, we made a wise choice to continue to have my insurance.  Plus, David is probably going to have to have work done on his knee this year.  I'm hoping that by 2012 we'll be in a position for me to stay home full time with the wee little ones.

Sometimes, though, I wonder why I am so anxious to stay home all the time.  Just this last weekend Josh so lovingly gave David and I a violent stomach flu at the exact same time.  Probably a third of my waking hours are spent listening to one child or another cry/scream.  If I make it out in public, all I ask for is that I don't smell of spit up.  Makeup is pretty much out the window.  In fact I only seem to go out late at night now so perhaps that, combined with my pasty white skin, might lead the neighbors into wondering if I'm going through some sort of Twilight fantasy.  When I do get all gussied up for some event (church is pretty much it right now) my outfit choices are limited to what will cover my hairy legs.  Let me tell you, when I get a chance to shower, I sure as heck don't want to spend it shaving.  I'd rather stand there in a stupor and let that hot water beat down on my sore muscles.  Have I mentioned that my getting-heavy-really-fast baby has pretty much only been content during his sickness while being held?  And that the only appropriate way to hold him to his satisfaction is to be walking and slightly bouncing him at the same time?  If you wonder how I lost all my baby weight so fast, there you go.  The flu helped too.

So why do I want to stay home with two little tyrants all the time?  Why do I turn into a human jungle gym or johnny jump?  Why have I sacrificed almost all daily personal hygiene?  Because my two year-old won't go to sleep now unless he can see his momma.  Because all I have to do is look at my baby and he grins and wiggles so much it's like he won the lottery.  Because I know that time is going by way too fast and someday I'm going to look back on this and miss it.  I won't think about the money we might of had, or the house, or the stuff.  I'll be thinking about how a momma hug used to make everything alright in the world and all it took to make them happy was a silly song.  And perhaps a cookie.