My Life's Greatest Work?

Having and raising children is often referred to as "our [I'll insert 'a womans' here, since I think that is what most are really talking about] life's greatest work."

I disagree.

Raising children is a great work, but I'm going to go against the grain and say that it isn't the most important thing I'll ever do.  Not even the second greatest.  I love my kids with  all my heart.  I would sacrifice my life for them without a second thought.  Yet I think I do them a disservice if I put them first, at the pinnacle of my life.

What about all the women who either never marry or have children?  Do the contributions of their lives mean less simply because I am a mother?  I can think of many examples of childless women who have made the world a far better place than I ever will.  Mother Teresa is a shining example and here is another single woman who is making a big change.

I know that by raising my children I could perhaps be making contributions to society that I don't know of yet, but I don't want this to be a competition on who can do greater work.  The point I'm trying to make is that first a foremost I am a child of God.  It should be my life's goal to live in a way that pleases Him, which also happens to bring me great happiness.  My second focus is the relationship I have with my husband.

If I am following the commandments of my Heavenly Father I will be constantly making little improvements to my life that will make me a better person and in turn, a better wife and mother.  I think one of the best things I can give my children is that their mother is HAPPY WITH WHO SHE IS.  I can stay home with my children every day of their young lives, shuttling them to practices, listening to every conversation, making every craft and yet it won't do me much good if they see a woman who isn't satisfied with her life.  And I'm convinced satisfaction and happiness in life can't come from children, it has to come from being happy with who you are.  This happens whether you're married with no children, divorced, never married or with twelve children.

The second greatest gift I can give my children is a happy marriage between David and I.  In this I feel truly blessed to have married such a great man.  We are partners.  We share housework, decisions, finances and income-earning.  While I hope my income contributions for my family won't be necessary someday soon, I know that we will still share domestic responsibilities in a proportion that's fair when I consider the long hours David puts in at his job.  I don't expect him to do half the house work (though sometimes he still does) but he cooks, helps me fold the laundry, does dishes, scrubs the shower and cleans his own toilet.  He gives the kids baths, reads them stories and puts them to bed.  He gets up in the night to comfort the kids even when he has work in the morning.  Our children, especially our boys, will grow up seeing that their father exercises no unrighteous dominion in our home, or dominion of any shape.  They will see their parents appropriately displaying affection for each other.  They will see that Mommy and Daddy need time away just for themselves.  Because in reality, our children will only be one of our primary focuses in our lives for about twenty years.  Hopefully we'll have many more years than that together, so we better be happy and comfortable as a couple independent of our children.

So sorry, Josh and Ben, but while you are a very important and loved part of my life's work, you cannot be its center.  And I think you're going to be better off in the long run because of it.